I just remembered I had a blog. I was reading someone else's blog and was like, hey, I think I had one of those. I even went to different sites to try to figure out where my blog was. Must mean like a ton to me, right?
No one follows my little blog. It's just for me. So much has changed since I wrote last. I am still at my highest weight ever. I still fight every day to not hate my body. But I still think I am confident and beautiful; I see my skinny friends have trouble believing those things about themselves. So all is not lost.
It recently dawned on me that when I get married in Las Vegas (in about 28 days) I will be fatter than I have ever been. I almost wanted to stop. Stop the wedding, stop the dress....everything, because of a number on a scale. I wanted to punch myself in the face for that thought. I have such a blessed existence, and here I am whining about a NUMBER ON A SCALE. It's extremely self centered and self-indulgent. There are places all over the world where women worry about the safety of their children, or when they will next be beaten. And this is my worry.
So the wedding will take place as planned, and I will be stunning. Not to toot my own horn (toot, toot), but my dress is gorgeous and my family will be there. The ones I love are healthy, happy and with me. And that is what is important.
No comments:
Post a Comment